I don’t like to think about it…
Not because I want to forget what happened that night, but because the fear overpowers me. It makes him real again, his spirit is with us when we speak of it. All the anger, torture, hurt and fear that he went through becomes real. It seizes my mind, twisting the world around me back to that anguish. We all feel it, we all felt it. The dark cloud that hung over us all as we buried a family member who left our world on bad terms. So many unanswered questions… Why and who and how and how will his son grow up? No matter how long you sit in this circle and plead and poke for your answers you will never get them. Only two people left on this earth can give that to you and their brains are but mush. I hope you find the truth, but please take this black cloud out of my life again. Take it home with you. My fears will not conquer me again.